No one likes a know-it-all. That's why it's hard to love a gadget that claims to be "smart" until it sits down and works out theoretical physics problems using a box of Cornflakes.

In this case, the smug intelli-gadget is the Samsung i600 Smartphone, a part-phone, part-PDA that promises to stay in touch with your Bill Gates-sanctioned software, even if you're miles from home. Jim Louderback, a bonified gadget geek from San Francisco, California gives the Samsung i600 Smartphone a 119-day stress test.

Like a toddler at Christmas, I eagerly rip the box open which reveals the Samsung i600 — the Smartphone. The combination phone-slash-PDA promises to keep me connected to my Microsoft Office programs remotely. I can’t wait to start using it. The manual informs me that today’s not the day — it takes 14 hours to charge the phone.

Not without trepidation, I switch my Verizon service from my older, more compact phone to the new one — then connect it to my computer to synchronize my Outlook e-mail. The manual says I can keep in touch with my e-mail, calendar and address book even when I’m 2,500 miles away — after I install a helper application onto the phone and another on PC. And, I have to activate the data service as well. No sweat. Or maybe not.

The Verizon rep gives me two options: Pricing Plans for Dummies: all the data I can eat for $79 a month and 150 megabytes for $99 a month. I don't want either. "Do you sell a lot of the $99 plans?" I ask. "Not really," he says, in that baffled, drunken redneck sort of way. After a quick switch to someone with a clue — surprise! — Verizon has a special $45 monthly unlimited-data plan custom made for the i600.

It's Sunday. The phone and I rest.

My first day out with the phone. I'm as giddy as a prom queen at homecoming. My excitement, however, lasts only slightly longer than the battery, which gives out before noon.

Armed with the extended battery — which almost doubles the size and weight of the already beefy unit — I try to connect the machine to my desktop and laptop. An easy task? Dream on. This phone is only allowed to have relations with two computers instead of three.

The wireless sync finally works on my desktop PC. On a way to a meeting across town, the wireless sync works and e-mails begin to magically appear on my phone Cool — until I try to write back. I'm not used to using a numeric key pad to write words, plus, I doubt my boss would appreciate a response of "c00l n00b, cul8r."

Back in the office, I notice that every message in my inbox seems has been cloned. With a bit of tinkering, I discover that the Smartphone is stupidly replicating my entire e-mail inbox, and sending a second copy of each e-mail back into the Inbox. This phone spams itself. Great.

On the road. The e-mail now refuses to synchronize at all. Luckily, I brought my laptop as a backup.

The phone crashes completely. It turns on, but doesn't advance past the cheerful Microsoft Smartphone screen. I plug the phone into my laptop, create another "partnership," and copy the data back on the phone. But the wireless sync application is gone completely. For some bizarre reason, the sync software doesn't create a complete backup of the phone in case of disaster (or bugs). To resolve the problem, I need the installation CD, which is, natch, sitting at home.

I change time zones. The phone does not. A warning says, "Note, phone does not get time from network". That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The phone knows I've changed time zones, yet it's programmed not to change the phone's local time. Thanks for the handy non-feature, Samsung.

Despite all my problems, the i600 is actually a pretty good phone, as far as phones are concerned. The speaker mode is loud and clear, the sound is good, and the i600 maintains a strong connection most of the time. It had better be a good phone, though, because I haven't found many other redeeming features.

Stop the presses! After messing around with the internal menus, I discover the i600 can operate as a modem, connecting my notebook to the. And, it works! I've finally found something this phone excels at.

I'm traveling again, and my charger cable is on the fritz. The large battery, which still can't live through a day of normal phone use, has finally crapped out.

Almost four months later I'm still using the i600. I don’t know why. The terrible battery life and limited wireless functionality are balanced by its great wireless-modem capability. And it is super handy to have a calendar and contact data on the phone. The compromises have caught up with me, though. I'm moving on to the next big thing—an LG camera phone. So long, smarty.

Copyright © 2004 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Sync.